Enneagram 2
PLEASING
Welcome to Your Comprehensive Enneagram Guide
Get ready to dive into clear, practical insights for each Enneagram type. Whether you want to understand yourself, strengthen your team, or boost your leadership, you’ll find valuable information beyond the basics. Discover key traits, motivations, challenges, and actionable tips to make impactful decisions and foster growth.
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PLEASING can be used to build strong relationships, to create harmony in groups and to support others during challenging times. It is a way to enhance social spaces with warmth and generosity.
PLEASING can be used to ignore boundaries for self and others and neglect your own needs. It relies on seeking external validation and encourages dependency by and with others.
An Enneagram 2 might think:
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Focus on Others: I find myself paying close attention to others, I love to connect with people and their stories.
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Connection through Helping: I am very helpful and supportive of the people in my life and I often find myself wishing people were more supportive of me.
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Recognition of Needs: I am really good at recognizing what another person needs but struggle to know what I need or want. I feel frustrated when people don’t see how much I care.
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Feeling Unworthy: I am very sensitive to disconnection in my relationships and will look for any glimpse of external validation to counteract those negative feelings.
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Emotional Awareness: I am a very emotionally sensitive person and use this awareness to connect with others.
Centre of Intelligence: Heart Type
Heart Types lead with their emotions and feelings. They are often very aware of matters of personal identity and self-image. They are driven by connection and impacted by the dominant emotion of sadness.
Enneagram 2s lead with their emotions, focusing on the needs and feelings of others to create meaningful connections. They are generous and empathetic, often anticipating and fulfilling others' needs to maintain a sense of belonging and appreciation.
Dominant Emotion: Sadness
Enneagram 2s experience sadness when they feel unappreciated or disconnected from those they care for. This emotion often motivates them to offer support and help, seeking validation through their acts of service.
Sadness can lead to empathy and greater connection but can also decrease motivation and lead to disengagement and low morale.
Central Focus:
I focus on helping people feel valued and loved.
Important Values:
I value kindness, connection and acknowledgement.
Danger Zone:
People-Pleasing Behaviours - the need to express excessive help/kindness.
Antidote:
Humility - focusing on the acceptance of own worth/needs.
Distorted Lens: People-Pleasing
Each Enneagram type has an emotional filter effecting thoughts, feelings and actions. It is automatic and unconscious, created from core fears and desires. In traditional Enneagram language this is referred to as a “passion.” The Passion is our attempt to recreate a version of our true nature when life becomes overwhelming.
The distorted lens for Twos is people-pleasing. People-pleasing is the belief that connection can be manufactured by offering kindness and support to others at the expense of your own needs.
True Nature: Humility
The true nature of each Enneagram type is referred to as their “virtue.” The virtue is the exact opposite and antidote to our distorted view on the world.
The true nature of Twos is humility. Humility is the acceptance of our own needs and the ability to trust others with them. Humility is the ability to say, “I am human.” Embracing humility is embracing the idea that everything that is supposed to happen will happen when it’s supposed to happen as it’s supposed to happen.
At My Best:
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Caring and Generous: Enneagram Twos are incredibly giving and selfless, always ready to lend a hand and support others.
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Warm and Approachable: Twos have a friendly and inviting nature, making others feel welcome and valued.
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Positive and Uplifting: They are often cheerful and optimistic, spreading positivity and joy.
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Inspiring and Motivating: They encourage and inspire others to achieve their best, providing motivation and moral support.
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Altruistic: Their actions are often driven by a genuine desire to help and make a difference in the lives of others.
Under Stress:
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Neglecting Own Needs: They may ignore their own needs and well-being, leading to burnout and exhaustion.
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Resentful: If they feel unappreciated or taken for granted, Twos can become resentful and passive-aggressive.
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Fear of Rejection: Under stress, Twos may become overly anxious about being rejected or unloved.
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Difficulty Saying No: Twos might struggle to set boundaries, saying yes to everything and overcommitting themselves.
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Invasive: Their desire to help can become intrusive, as they might overstep boundaries in trying to assist others.
Working with Twos:
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Acknowledge Contributions: Twos feel valued when their efforts are recognized. Show appreciation but encourage them to balance giving with self-care.
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Encourage Independence: Twos love collaboration but can benefit from building confidence in solo tasks. Promote their strengths and remind them they don’t always need external validation.
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Set Boundaries: Help Twos manage their time and avoid overextending themselves by setting clear boundaries.
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Support Honest Feedback: Twos can take feedback personally, so be kind and direct. Frame constructive criticism in a way that reinforces growth.
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Promote Self-Care: Encourage Twos to take breaks and prioritize their own well-being to avoid burnout.
Subtypes: Different Ways of Connecting
Each of the three subtypes below are slightly different ways Enneagram 2's approach connection. These subtypes are created when we combine the distorted lens of the type, people-pleasing, and an “overdoing” of one of the natural human survival instincts for self-preservation, social safety and one-to-one bonding and relationship.
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Self-Preservation 2's connect with people using their young, playful attitude and intuitively sensing what others need.
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Social 2's connect with people by working hard to support everyone in their social circle.
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One-to-One 2's connect with people by anticipating every need of those in their closest circle.
Read through the descriptions below and consider which subtype description fits best - you may see characteristics of yourself in more than one.
Connecting with Youthful Charm
SP2's have this natural, almost child-like charm about them. There's often a touch of shyness mixed with their warmth that makes people want to look out for them. While they're great at making others feel special, they can be surprisingly hesitant about getting too tangled up in commitments. You might notice they pull back when relationships start feeling too demanding or when they sense rejection coming. They've got this interesting mix of wanting care while trying to stay independent - kind of like a cat that wants attention on its own terms.
*This is the counter-type: a subtype driven by the same motivation but expressing it in seemingly opposing ways.
Self-Preservation
Connecting with Hardwork
SO2's are natural leaders who aren't afraid of the spotlight. They pour their energy into making things happen, often ending up front and center in groups. While they genuinely enjoy organizing people and projects, there's usually an unspoken expectation that their efforts will be recognized and appreciated. They're good at reading what others need and providing it, but they keep a mental tally of their contributions. You might notice them getting frustrated when their generosity isn't acknowledged or reciprocated. Despite this, they keep showing up, energized by being where the action is and keeping things moving.
Social
Connecting with Anticipating Needs
OT2's pour themselves into their closest relationships. They've got an almost sixth sense for what their inner circle needs, often knowing before the other person does. They might not see the pattern, but they get anxious when important relationships feel shaky. Their emotions can run high and low based on how close they feel to their favorite people. Great at making others feel special, though they might struggle when that attention isn't returned.
One-to-One
Wing 1:
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PRACTICAL: Twos can use this wing to become more practical. They can use this opportunity to focus on tasks and routines outside of relationships and emotions.
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OBJECTIVITY: With this wing, Twos become more objective in their evaluation of what is going on in relationships. They are able to take things less personally and process them at a distance from their emotions.
Using Your Wings
The numbers on either side of your Enneagram number are referred to as your wings. These two adjacent numbers flavour your main number and add to your growth and development.
Wing 3:
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RESULTS: Twos can use this wing to get things done! They can prioritize task over emotion, letting go of feeling getting to doing.
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OWN THEIR STRENGTHS: With this wing, Twos tune into and own what they are good at. Instead of waiting for someone to notice their efforts, they can recognize their accomplishments.
Point 4:
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NEEDS: Twos can use this arrow point to get in touch with their own needs. They give time to examining their own inner world and use their sensitivity to grow in self-awareness.
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EMOTIONS: With this arrow point, Twos become more open to expressions of their own and others’ emotions without judgement. They are emotionally honest even when it feels vulnerable.
Using Your Arrows
The inner lines connecting your Enneagram number to other numbers around the circle are referred to as your arrow points. These two numbers can be incorporated into your self-development work for significant and lasting change.
Point 8:
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BOUNDARIES: Twos can use this arrow point to learn to say what they need and want. They get more comfortable with their thoughts and opinions without the validation of others.
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POWER: With this arrow point, Twos begin to realize the courage it takes to go first, to demonstrate vulnerability. They become more independent and self-confident, standing up for what they really believe in.
To The Twos:
Twos, we know you are kind, you can pause and take a break. Your effort has actually overwhelmed us and in some ways confused us. How can someone keep giving and giving and giving without needing anything? It feels out of balance. It feels “not real.” Likely because we both know, it isn’t. Despite how great it feels to know what someone needs and fulfill it, deep down there’s always a little version of us that wants to be seen the way we are seeing others. Listen to that part of you, it’s reminding you of something important.
Embrace Your Path to Growth
The Enneagram is more than just a tool—it’s a roadmap to exceptional personal and professional awareness. Explore the intricacies of your type to elevate your leadership, strengthen team cohesion, and foster authentic growth.
Why the Enneagram:
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Pinpoints the motivations that fuel your decisions
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Uncovers hidden obstacles limiting progress
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Equips you with targeted strategies to amplify strengths
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Enhances communication for greater influence and connection
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Don’t stop at surface-level understanding. Harness the Enneagram’s depth to uncover the best version of yourself and inspire those around you.